Panicked-Getting Ready to Fly

As my flight looms closer, I am trying to reason with myself that flying is statistically safe. I even Googled it to show you how serious I am. In fact, based on their incredible safety record, if you did fly every day of your life, probability indicates that it would take you nineteen thousand years before you would succumb to a fatal accident. Nineteen thousand years!

DEATH BY: YOUR ODDS
Cardiovascular disease: 1 in 2
Smoking (by/before age 35): 1 in 600
Car trip, coast-to-coast: 1 in 14,000
Bicycle accident: 1 in 88,000
Tornado: 1 in 450,000
Train, coast-to-coast: 1 in 1,000,000
Lightning: 1 in 1.9 million
Bee sting: 1 in 5.5 million
U.S. commercial jet airline: 1 in 7 million
Sources: Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, University of California at Berkeley

Yet, at the same time, I am freaking out! So many times I have wanted to back out. But the ticket has been purchased. The plans have been made. I'm committed... I think. I haven't always been afraid to fly. It happened when as a passenger on a commuter plane to Philadelphia, we hit a thunderstorm that shook the hell out of the plane. Lightening lit up the windows as the thunder roared by. That was the beginning of my long-term relationship with the fear of flying! I realized that for my own sanity I had to get a handle on this, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went to a psychotherapist to help me get over this fear. She had me draw circles on the palm of my hand while I visualized myself flying, and I recited something (I can't remember what). Sounds ridiculous, huh? Well, it worked! At least for that particular flight. A few years later when the time to fly arrived, I was freaking out again. If I can stop myself from hyperventilating (which has happened), or from crying (which has also happened), I hide my fear pretty well. If you were sitting next to me on a plane, you would have no idea that I'm reciting every prayer I know and every Bible verse I've ever memorized, while experiencing a rush of sensations: racing heart; light-headedness or dizziness; cold, clammy hands; difficulty breathing; I become claustrophobic. Coupled with all these physical symptoms, I have an irresistible urge to jump off the plane before it takes off! :)

A few well-meaning friends have offered advice, from excessivei alcohol consumption to even offering me drugs (all legal of course)! But when you're in the air for a long period of time, I don't think it's a wise idea to be under the influence. And, with my luck, I would probably act like an idiot and make a fool of myself! So, I'm going to fly! I'm committed! And as I prepare, I'm thinking I'll be ok. I'm just singing that old John Denver song: "My bags are packed, I'm ready to go, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn...I'm leaving on a jet plane..."